i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
