i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
