Nicole vs. Life
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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