I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
