he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
