jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it's great music for shaving your balls
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
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