Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
