Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
