I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Enjoy the penises
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
