Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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