Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
