Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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