Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
