SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
bring money and cleavage
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
