Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
