he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
