those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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