he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
3 2 1 whiskey
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
