You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
