can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
