I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
