i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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