We won't sleep together?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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