Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
