Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
