also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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