Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
