I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
