It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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