Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
