I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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