we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
