Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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