Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
