New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
where are my eyebrows?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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