Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
