paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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