First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
