First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
