i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
