mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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