she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
