Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
