Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
