I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
