Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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