I wanna bring you to show and tell
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
