i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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