Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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