i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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